Tuesday, July 25, 2006

DVD scam: time for violent action

as we all know, but few ever admit, DVDs are a pile of wank designed to extract the most cash out of us with little or no return. the usual picture quality is grainy and pixelated and the menus plumb new depths of crap user interface design. but these are little things compared to the real problem with DVDs, which is...

...they don't fucking work! DVDs are supposedly designed to handle corruptions on the disk by storing data redundantly and employing algorithms that can fill in when data is missing due to a scratch or someone breathing on it or even fucking owning it for a month or two. i don't think anyone actually implemented this stuff, it's all marketing gook written by the same people who told us CDs were indestructible. right. and of course if your media screws up, then you have the right to buy another copy at the cost of the media. has anyone tried that? tell me how far you got. yeah, i know. wankers.

so of course every time my DVD player decides to freeze over, or "remix" video, or whatever evil shit it decides to do to your movie (like crash 15 minutes from the end, which my player liked to do for a while), it's clobberin' time. usually i just throw shit around the living room and see what happens. well, this time, my player screwed up a complete chapter of Pitch Black, and, as every Riddick fan knows, it didn't know with whom it was fuckin'.

so after a few repeated whacks on the floor, the remote finally gave forth its guts. in fact, i still haven't found some of them. amused, i tried to put it back together, which is missing the point really, but i thought it might be fun. i still haven't managed to find the lens on the end of the unit, and Dave was the one that finally coaxed it back into life (of course, it wouldn't do that for ME, oh no), but it's back working.

until the next time............. [fx: jaws theme]

1 comment:

Sifu D said...

Umm. I think I bought that shit for you so take better care of it. It was expensive and *cutting edge* when it arrived for your 32nd birthday. Now, if anyone cares to figure it out, Missure Fat Head Angry Man, is turning a significant page in his book this year and if you do the math(s) you can deduce the actual age of the said remote device at which point you will have a bit more sympathy for the situation and possibly less for the Angry Fat Head. Which is to say, none. Nice movie though, Pitch Black. Next time, go for the *sweet spot*.